The casual misogyny of the Male Ally

Gender Is War

I’ve learned so much about male allies in the past few months. About their tenuous commitment to the cause. About their fragile egos and the heavy burden of dealing with female leaders.  About how that leadership is inadequate when it’s not focused on supporting them and validating their feelings. How their mistakes are my fault. How they are disappointed in me. How they are afraid of me. How I take up too much space. Their anger at my boundaries. Why they won’t associate with me if I associate with a group they don’t like. That I’m too radical and not radical enough. And of course, how I need to stop being so “bossy” and let them make the decisions.

I had to let them all go. It was hard. Those relationships weren’t casual; one had been my friend for six years. Another I had grown close to while living and…

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By Yisheng Qingwa